


Not Ready for Goodbye

by oleanderflowers



Series: a heart that wants to live and a soul that wants to give [1]
Category: Star Wars: Kanan (Comics), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, CT-1157 | Stance Lives, Depa Billaba Lives, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Order 66 (Star Wars), Rebuilding, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Star Wars: Kanan Comics Spoilers, caleb gets three parental figures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 20:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oleanderflowers/pseuds/oleanderflowers
Summary: When Order 66 goes out, Depa Billaba and Caleb Dume are able to separate Grey, Styles, and Stance from the rest of the battalion. In an attempt to figure out what has happened, they manage to get to the city and run into a familiar smuggler who decides to help out. Doing so creates a chain of events around rebuilding one's world when it falls apart.
Relationships: CC-10/994 | Grey & Kanan Jarrus, CC-10/994 | Grey & Styles, Depa Billaba & Kanan Jarrus, Depa Billaba/CC-10/994 | Grey, Janus Kasmir & Kanan Jarrus, Kanan Jarrus & CT-1157 | Stance
Series: a heart that wants to live and a soul that wants to give [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2207652
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Not Ready for Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> oh boy welcome to this story. Uh I have limited knowledge about most things but extremely in-depth research on others so disclaimer, some things might not make total sense but oh well. Enjoy!

There’s always something special about the time much after a victory, time spent sitting around a fire and talking. Exclamations and mindsets of mourning the dead and fighting like hell for the living, because that’s something important when every battle brings loss. The stars are out and the fire is strong, the flames casting light as night falls.

Commander Grey would rather be here than anywhere else, with his brothers around him and his general and shiny Jedi. Caleb is gaping at Depa’s questioning of the Council as Styles laughs at the revelation of Caleb’s inquisitive nature. Stance is trying to defend him, and Grey is sitting there with nothing but fondness. Styles even stands up to go over and ruffle Caleb’s hair as the kid protests, causing Stance to scooch aside to make room for Styles.

“And here I thought it was just soldiering he didn’t understand!” Styles proclaims.

“It’s not the same thing at all!” Caleb protests as he swats at Styles’s hands. “I asked questions to better understand  _ why _ a decision was made. I never questioned the decisions themselves!”

Depa gives a beautiful smile and explains that that’s why she chose Caleb as her Padawan, and she hands him a cube shaped object. A Holocron, she calls it, and his teal eyes go wide as he inspects it. He holds it up to his face, looking bright with childish awe, which quickly turns to a look of fond annoyance when Styles elbows him in the side.

“So you were the temple troublemaker, huh?” Styles starts.

Caleb angles the Holocron out of the way, regarding Styles with an expression that’s half cheerful and half scowling. “Something like that, I guess. Not like I was trying to be!”

“Just came by it naturally, huh?” 

“Ah, leave the kid alone,” Grey interrupts. He raises an eyebrow at his vod and little Jedi, earning him an innocent smile from Styles. “He doesn’t know you’re teasing him.”

Caleb turns his glare to Grey. “I  _ know _ he’s teasing me! And stop calling me kid!” There it is, the insistence of not being called what he is. Though, Caleb being called kid has been a touchy subject since Stance’s near death at Mygeeto. But most of the  _ vode  _ can’t help but look at Caleb and see him as an  _ ad’ika _ .

Caleb’s a kid, a fact that no one can deny. He’s fourteen, and even though that makes him chronologically older than Grey himself, he’s still just a little one. Grey sees him as a son almost, because Depa’s close enough to him to be considered a parental figure. And Depa, wonderful Depa, has made sure to provide Caleb with this family of theirs. 

Styles likes to tease Grey about his and Depa’s relationship, as do most of the  _ vode _ , but they can kriff off with that. They’ve stuck with each other for so long, even when a certain  _ demagolka _ Seppie general slaughtered most of the battalion and almost killed her all that time ago. But she’s still here, and Styles’s still here, and so is Big-Mouth and Soot and now the family they’ve built. They’re all together, from the inseparable Remo and Kaylon to the  _ vod’ika _ , Stance.

Grey’s musings are interrupted when his commlink starts beeping, much to his confusion. He turns away from the others and presses his finger against the answer button, faintly paying attention to the continuous bickering behind him. 

“This is C.C. dash Ten slash Nine Nine Four,” he reports. A small blue hologram forms in his palm, one of a robed figure. The figure is unfamiliar, yet Grey feels a sudden sense of wariness. He tells himself that it’s nothing, that this is just some status call.

“Commander Grey, the time has come,” the figure says. “Execute Order Sixty-Six.”

Thoughts of family and love are wiped away. Entire individuality is stolen with those simple words, and Grey is gone. Not himself. Styles is gone, and Stance, and Big-Mouth, and Soot, and the entire Grand Army of the Republic.

CC-10/994 stands up and raises his blaster.

* * *

Caleb lounges near the fire, perfectly content with life as he runs his fingers over the edges of the Holocron, a lazy smile present on his face. His master is next to him and Stance and Styles are on his other side… or at least, they should be, but a quick look reveals that they’re moving towards Grey. They both pick up their helmets and put them on, but there’s something a little off with their movements. 

“Caleb,” Depa says from beside him, but he doesn’t turn to look at her until she grabs his arm. “Caleb Dume!”

The Force screams. Unexpected images rush into his mind, giving him sight to clone troopers raising their blasters and firing on the Jedi. The vision expands, and there’s Master Secura drowning in a barrage of blaster bolts. There’s Master Mundi falling to the ground, surrounded by troopers. The vision ends and Caleb reels back, looking up in a panic.

Every single trooper in the camp has their guns aimed at him and Master Depa.

“Run,” is all his Master can say, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Caleb can do nothing but stare. “Grey? Styles?” He reaches out in the Force, feeling for his bond with his family, but everything’s wrong. The clones don’t feel like themselves. Their signatures are  _ wrong _ .

“Good soldiers follow orders,” Grey states, but that can’t be Grey. Caleb can’t even begin to comprehend why Grey would take up arms against him.

“Execute Order Sixty-Six,” Styles adds. His voice is devoid of the happiness and brashness that had been present just moments before.

“Execute the Jedi!”

“ _ Now! _ ” The night lights up with blaster fire upon the command. Depa’s lightsaber flares to life as she deflects the bolts away from both her and the clones. Panic flashes in her eyes as she puts herself in front of Caleb, trying to push him back as Stance and Mixx advance. 

“ _ Padawan _ !” Depa shouts, jolting Caleb out of his shock. “We need to go!”

Caleb activates his own lightsaber to protect himself, though a panicked haze still presses in his mind. “I don’t— what’s happening?!”

“I don’t know, Padawan, but we must leave!” Depa lashes out with the Force, shoving Stance and Mixx into Remo and Kaylon. The distraction proves enough for her to grab Caleb’s arm and start running towards the hill next to the camp, deflecting bolts as she goes.

“Don’t let them escape!” he hears Grey shout behind him. A blaster bolt comes way too close to his arm, singing his robe, forcing him to collect himself enough to start running on his own. 

He follows Depa into the trees, trying to block out the shouting and the blaster fire that’s directed at him. Look at the stars, think of the skies, because the Force is still screaming and his family is still trying to kill him and everything is wrong. He wants to squeeze his eyes shut and burrow into his master’s robes, but they can’t stop running.

Depa uses the Force to propel them ahead, finally cresting the wooded hill and catching sight of the city below. She pulls Caleb to the right, heading towards the dense part of the top of the hill. 

Here, they can hide amongst the bushes and at least try to lose Grey and the others. Or at least, that’s what Depa mumbles under her breath. 

“They’re not themselves,” Caleb whispers urgently as Depa leads him through thick bushes. “They wouldn’t do that! Stance, and—and Grey, none of them!”

“I know, Padawan. But there are too many things happening at once. We must stay focused on escape.”

He nods jerkily and tries to find some sort of comfort in whatever he can, whether it be Depa’s guiding hand on his arm or the self-made reassurances that this will turn out okay. He doesn’t understand what’s happening, so he tells himself to focus on the here and now. 

They hustle through the undergrowth in silence for a few minutes until Depa hisses, “Get down!” 

Caleb throws himself to the ground, trying to stop his robe from getting caught in the bush, and hears Depa’s cause of concern. Footsteps and faint voices. Depa lays beside him, now-extinguished lightsaber at the ready, as Caleb strains to hear while simultaneously hoping for the voices to go away.

“They couldn’t have gotten far,” comes a voice that will always be painfully familiar. “Captain, One-one-five-seven, you two are with me. Sergeant, take the men and form a perimeter. No one lets the traitors leave, got it?”

A chorus of “yes sir”s follow Grey’s command. Caleb digs his hands into the ground and tries not to shake from what he’s convinced himself to be adrenaline. Grey wouldn’t call his brothers by their numbers. Whoever is out there is not Grey right now, even if his voice and face are the same.

Footsteps peel off and away, thankfully in other directions, but Depa shakes her head when Caleb asks if they can keep moving. “Grey, Styles, and Stance are still here,” she whispers. “We must not let them see us.”

“Master, if we can just see what’s wrong with them, we can try to figure this out!”

The look she gives him is one of pained sorrow. “I need to get you to safety. If we can perhaps separate them and make sure they won’t attack, we could... see what’s wrong. But I am not putting you in danger.”

The cracking noise of plastoid boots stepping on foliage begins to get louder, and Caleb doesn’t want to stand and look behind him to see his pursuers. “We can lead them away! If we engage Grey and stop him from hurting us or alerting the others, we could work something out.” They have to try, at least.

Depa breathes out a sigh and braces her hands against the ground. “When I tell you to, you start running. I will not let any harm come to you, Padawan. If things go well, you can return.”

Caleb frowns as he runs the plan through his mind. He can’t leave his master if things go wrong, but he also can’t leave the rest of his family if they’re not okay, so this’ll have to work. “Okay,” he breathes, and begins drawing his legs underneath him so he can make a quick escape.

Depa lets go of his arm and, after a few moments, exclaims, “Now!”

Caleb launches into action, barreling through the undergrowth. He hears the familiar snap hiss of a lightsaber behind him, along with Stance yelling, “I’ve got movement! Blast them!”

He looks over his shoulder to see Depa standing off against Grey, Styles, and Stance. She deflects their blaster bolts away and gathers the Force together for a powerful push. Grey and Styles are expecting it, but Stance gets caught off guard and slams against a tree. He falls to the ground and doesn’t get back up.

Depa gets close enough for Grey to begin trying to knock the lightsaber out of her hands. Caleb pauses in his running and turns back, because Styles is moving around to fire at Depa’s back and maybe if Caleb can just stop him and talk to him, then he can find what’s happening.

He begins sprinting back towards his master, his lightsaber clutched in his hands. He hears Depa’s attempted conversation with Grey as she hits yet another blaster bolt away. “Grey, listen to me!” she’s saying. “We are not your enemy!”

“Traitor,” he snaps. “Good soldiers follow orders.”

Styles lines up his sights at Depa’s back, but Caleb skids to a stop in front of him and grabs his blaster with one hand, trying to get it away from him. Styles makes a surprised noise before committing to the tug of war fight over his blaster. He kicks out at Caleb, but Caleb’s small and fast enough to be able to keep away from his swipes.

Depa and Grey are still dancing around each other, but she catches hold of his arm and keeps his blaster out of the way as she pulls him close. “Grey, look at me. I am not here to hurt you. Whatever is wrong, you must fight it, or at least realize that this isn’t right.”

He pauses, another ragged “Good soldiers follow orders” falling from his lips. Caleb’s too focused on trying not to get hit by Styles to see the way Grey falters, but he hears the thunk of something against plastoid followed by the sound of something hitting the ground. He whips around to see a now unconscious Grey on the floor, Depa kneeling apologetically beside him.

Styles takes the distraction to land a kick on Caleb’s chest, causing him to let go of the blaster and tumble across the ground. Depa looks up in surprise and quickly activates her lightsaber, but Caleb sends out a Force push that immobilizes Styles in a similar fashion to Stance. He stands up, looks around, and promptly winces at the fact that he just knocked out his friend. 

The second emotion to hit him is relief. “It worked!” he exclaimed. “Now we can see what’s wrong.” He can finally get an explanation as to why this is happening.

Depa nods wordlessly and closes her eyes, laying her hand over Grey’s head. Caleb watches for a moment, feeling a shift in the Force, before arranging Styles in a more comfortable position. He scampers over to Stance to make sure he’s alright before reaching into the Force like his master.

There’s something not right with Stance’s signature in the Force. Caleb knew that something was wrong, of course, but this is on another level. Stance’s signature isn’t bright anymore; it’s dark and a chaotic mix of silence and turmoil. 

Caleb tries to seek out the source for the turmoil, but there’s something  _ bad _ in Stance’s mind. He recoils and quickly glances over at Depa, who’s looking at him. Her face is grimly set as she raises and approaches him.

“Master, there’s something in his head,” Caleb starts as she offers her hand and pulls him up.

Her chin dips in a nod. “I feel it, too. I suspect they are being controlled. We have to get them somewhere else.”

“But what about all the others?” He can’t just leave the rest of his family if they’re being forced to do things.

“If we discover the source of this in Grey, Styles, and Stance, then we can help the others,” Depa reasons. “We must abandon them temporarily, but we will not leave them forever.”

That doesn’t entirely satisfy Caleb, but he knows that it’s the most he can get right now. “How do we help them?”

“Can you lift Stance with the force?”

Caleb pauses at his master’s question. He’s been working on levitating things more, but he’s not sure if he can lift Stance. “Maybe, why?”

“We need to get somewhere to see what’s wrong. It’s a risk, but if we can sneak into the city, we can find something to help us. If you can get Stance there using the Force, I can take Grey and Styles. We’ll leave them somewhere safe while we look for help,” she explains, and Caleb nods with his realization.

“I can do it!”

“Good.” Depa offers him a small smile, but the seriousness of everything happening makes it falter. “Come, we don’t have long.”

So he focuses, centers his mind and reaches out to envelop Stance in the Force and lift. He sees Depa doing the same with Grey and Styles and thinks, a little humorously, that this would’ve made a great story to tell the other padawans at the Temple. Or at least, the thought is humorous until he remembers the screaming in the Force and the fact that there might not be any Temple left, let alone any padawans.

He frowns, looks towards the ground, and follows his master in silence.

**Author's Note:**

> haha here we go again
> 
> Stance is alive because I love him. Anyways, this is a big series thing that I hopefully know where I'm going with, heh. I've spent a while planning out not only this but the other stories that will take place in this AU, so be on the lookout for those eventually. Let's see where this story takes us! Fair disclaimer, I have no idea how the Force works, but my sister said that levitation could be used so yeehaw.
> 
> Thanks for reading, have a good day!


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